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~ : wife, lover, mother – the early mid-life crisis of a thirty-something.

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Category Archives: marriage

 Les Miserables and a day In London..Thats one tick on the bucket list!

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by jomakessix in all about me, Day trip, family, marriage, Quality time, relationships, Theatre, travel

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

London, qualitytime, relationships, theatre, travel

The time is 6.30 am and we’re on the rd again.,

Back to the big smoke and this time not to see a band ( well that’s a first!)

This is my mothers day present; thanks kids and Mr6 as I expect he’s the one who bought the tickets! If it was the kids then I’m paying them too much pocket money.

 We are off to spend the day at the Tower of London then off to see Les Miserables at the Queens theatre. I’m a relatively new fan to Les Mis.; yes I am one of those who latched on to the phenomenon after watching Hugh Jackman  and Russel Crowe in the film adaptation. So no I’m not a purist but no less a fan! I’ve watched the films countless times and know it word for word. Fallen in love with Jean Valjean , Javert and,go on then, Maurice too! Cried with every death, felt my heart swell and spirit soar with the voices of angry men singing for their revolution!

The road trip up is slow and we arrive at Hammersmith at 10.30 am. We’ve decided to vist the Tower as for all the time I lived in and around London it was one place I never visited.

We travel to The Tower easily enough.  I should say now I’m on crutches after a knee operation! Being slow in London is never wise right! People move so fast, the last thing they want to encounter is a country bumpkin on crutches.

I was blown away by the presence of The Tower,  as stupid as it sounds I NEVER EXPECTED it to be so big. You see the iconic white tower all the time in the media but I guess you fit the rest in in one clean shot.

Now you might have spotted the fatal flaw in our plan….. The Tower and surrounding castle rooms HAVE A LOT OF STEPS!!!!!!! Genius! You know what though, we were having such a wonderful day together we saw the funny side and decided it was extreme physio. The bit that annoyed me the most was the bloody noise the crutches made on the floor with every step! It was like being stalked by Long John bloody Silver .

We explored every room , soaked in all the history our brains would allow and had a a fabulous on site lunch of venison! Well when in the presence of kings and queens you might as well eat as one!

We head up to the centre of London  to meet a good friend who works for the BBC. We meet for a quick cuppa.  It’s fun to see the news room from the TV in full swing behind you whilst you sup on a nice cup of tea! 

Back into the throng we go.. we have an hour till curtains up and we’re starving. Luckily right opposite the theatre is an all you can eat chinease buffet! perfect! Think I must’ve been rather excited cause I couldn’t manage the one plate.

It’s  time!

The theatre is heaving, not a free seat in the house.  We’re up in the gods, again more bloody stairs!! We planned this really well! So with a hobble and a hop we make it to the top and take our seats!

Mr6 disappears and comes back with a bag of goodies! Les Mis T shirt, latte mug, programs and M&Ms!  The man did good! 

From the second the curtain went up I was hooked – each scene played out to perfection. I laughed at the landlord, cried with Eponine and my heart did echo the beat of angry drums with the young men of the revolution! The battle scene at the baricade is astounding and so well choreographed.
Now being in the gods, I let my imagination run free and of course the actors on stage are magnificent…in my head I’m watching Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe Et Al! I get so involved I think I could fling my self over the edge whilst shouting Vive La France!!!

Then the end… It’s over… I’m crying,… The audience is crying…most are on the their feet (frankly I’m quite cross that everyone wasn’t! Outrage!)
I’m done, emotionally drained.
And already begging MR6 for yearly tickets!

We make our way through busy London night. We chuckle as we expect it to be dead as its past 10pm and then remember we’re not back home and Londoners have a later bed time than the rest of us!

Back to the car and ready for the long drive home..

3.30 am back home in bed, tired but not enough for it to dampen the day.
Thank you Mr6 for the best day I’ve had in a little while. It’s great to remind ourselves we are a couple in a loving relationship who need quality time together. It helps you remember who you fell in love with.

We’ve made a little animato for you too! 

Our day in pictures 

See you soon

Jo

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We’ve run away : just for today

24 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by jomakessix in marriage, reflective, relationships

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

date days, escapism, fun, holding hands, mind space, Relationship, sea

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Yesterday we ran away, me and Mr6, on our own. We didn’t leave a note, and we didn’t tell anyone where we were going. We didn’t pack a lot, I fact just took cash, and make up (can’t leave the house without makeup, I fact I won’t answer the phone without a fresh application) any way I digress.
We take to the car, choose some music, chilled Ibiza if you must know as the actual sun is out, the real one, the one with heat and everything.
We embrace the mood, seek out the sea, the rhythmic waves, soft sand between our toes, sea breeze, blowing through our hair, well mine, Mr6 lost his,the careless bugger. No airplanes are need for such escapism, just a little local knowledge and within ten minutes we are sat on a little secluded cove, no kids, no adults for that matter, just us, the sea, sand and a stunning view out to sea.
I compare it to the Hiwain beaches on which Lost was filmed and to look out for the man in black, this appeals to Mr6 complete love of Lost and he seeks out some caves and announces he’s found Jacob ! Ok I’ve now lost most of you, but to us it’s fun, as we remember it’s ok to have fun !
We don’t sit and take in the calm, you see I can’t rest, ever, I find it very hard to relax. No, climbing over the rock pools and exploring, that’s more me.
I can’t resist a rock pool, harks back from childhood days spent searching for shrimps, mermaids purses, and ancient pirate gold. I never found any gold. Within minutes though, the sea slowly calms my pulse, and my mind begins to soften round the edges, and thoughts get a little hazy and less focused. This is good, though my body is active, I start to forget stresses and strains.
I found a small pebble by the first pool, it’s heart shaped. I give it o Mr6. We are really quite soppy and love this type of thing, a treasured memento of our day.
We steal a few kisses, beaches really should have a sign like those at swimming pools,
No Heavy petting fresh air makes my bloke frisky ! I remind him I’m not 17 and if he just waits till we get home, he can have an under the t shirt fumble anyways !!!
We climb across to the next cove, and slowly make our way back along the coast, still in our own little world, and holding hands. I think we forget what a lovely feeling this can be, usually are hands are filled by children’s little chubby and mucky fingers. How wonderful to have each other to our selves again, it feels a bit tingly, exciting again, ok maybe I might even let him upstairs as well as a fumble later !
We get to the car all to quick, and surrender our hands once more as we pick the children up from school. Buts it’s ok, it’s put us in a better place already, cleared a bit of Room in our befuddled brains. Most importantly it has reintroduced us, I’d forgotten Mr6 was my fella, not just the twat who forgets milk on the way home from work !
So make time people, just a little and reintroduce yourself to your partner, tell them Jo sent you !

I’d love to hear what you do on your date days.

Heres some pics of our day, thanks for reading. Yours always Jo x

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Team work a parenting approach

01 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by jomakessix in humour, marriage, parenting, relationships, social networking, Twitter, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Child, family, Home, Parent, Peppa Pig, Public relations, team work, Twitter

I’ve just been asked on Twitter ” How do I do it ?”

Do what ?

Look after four children .

Now with only having a 140 characters to answer, one word spang to mind TEAMWORK.

To effectively look after and parent our four children Mr6 and I have to be a team. We have to pull together, be a unit and mutually support each other every day. I suppose you could compare us to a football team, it certainly feels like it half the time. Picture, if you will, myself and Mr6 as the managers, but of a small unprofitable club of which we have to fulfill many roles. Such as, Coach, physio, accountants, first aiders, kit washers, PR managers even the team psychologist, and most importantly a referee !

We have to have a carefully considered game plan every time we leave the house as a family; who’s going where, what position in the car is the most unconfrontational, who has the first aid kit, and spare clean kit for the inevitable fall (probably deliberate) into a muddy puddle, for which I hold bloody Peppa Pig personally responsible !

Then when out on a day trip or family occasion, the coach comes out in us both. A full on pep talk on how behave ensues. ” No arguing, no fighting, be polite, smile and talk to great-aunt flo even though she scares the living bejesus out of you, don’t get too silly and please for the love of God,don’t tell the relatives how much mummy swears and tweets, yep there’s the PR manager for you !

But still MR6 and I remain solid, if one has said no to something,no matter if the other really thinks it would be ok, it’s still a NO ! This we have learnt over time, many an argument has been started when one of us has said no, then the other has said ” oh go on it will be alright, it wont hurt them, or the worst one, when a grandparent has asked to do something with the children you know the other wont agree with, that one by the way IS GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE !!!X

Ok we do get times when we think the other is perhaps being a little unreasonable, think that a bad mood/day has fogged their judgement. I know im guilty of this and so is Mr6, but we have to stand together and agree with their decision, if you don’t you are giving your children carte blanche to exploit gaps in the party line, they are crafty little buggers and it doesnt take long before they are playing you off each other. This is when the rows start and chaos begins !

Ok, when the kids have gone to bed or out of ear shot, then you may lay in to the other half for being completely unreasonable and utterly grumpy old fart, and if they side with their mother again I WILL FILE FOR DIVORCE AND BEAT Sorry I mean we will dicuss it rashionally like adults and come to a compromise !

I have a real pet hate of parenting left to just one parent, whilst the other gets to be the good guy, the kids favourite. This is unfair on the other parent and on the children it leads to disputes and unreasonable requests. So be a team, work together: it took two of you to make these babies, mind you I bet one of you came first and not together !!! ( ooh Mrs 6 outrageous ! )

The ultimate friend ( with benefits !)

02 Saturday Jun 2012

Posted by jomakessix in all about me, marriage, reflective, relationships, Twitter

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

engaged, Freinds with benefits, Friendship, Intimate relationship, Relationship, Twitter

For what ever reason lately I have been talking to my friends real and virtual (by the way I consider my virtual friends to be as real as you!) about relationships. one particular conversation made me think. I was told what a good man Mr6 was and where did they go to find one like him ?

It made me think, how did I find one like him ? Obviously I know how we met and got together ( again that’s for another time !) But what made this relationship stand the test of time, where other relationships failed to go?

Now any of my close friends and any who have taken the time to read my previous Blog Im obsessed its all about me, will know that I have been engaged twice before the real deal, not that I’ve had a lot of relationships you understand, just always got into serious ones !! Now for what ever reason, usually arguments as both relationships were rather turbulent they came to an end. So what was the magic ingredient that made Mr6 and I succeed where others had failed before?

It was this conversation on Twitter that I realised what this missing ingredient was…. Mr6 and I had been friends years before finally getting together. We had witnessed each other in previous relationships, we knew each other flaws, he knew how feisty and argumentative I could be, god knows how many times he had witnesses a blazer on a night out with a previous boyfriend of mine ! He knew what made me tick, and what buttons not to press, and I saw just what a lovely guy he was who could be too nice ! I once on a night out, confronted his then girlfriend telling her that she was lucky to have him and she shouldnt take him for granted, or else someone else would ! At the time I didn’t mean me !

So when we did finally get together, every thing happened very quickly, with many a raised eyebrow and many a talk of rebound on my part. But we didn’t need the time to get to know each other, we already had our back story in place, knew each other inside out and prepared to take it to the next level. Mr6 and I always secretly fancied each other, we admitted this to each other as we got together. (In fact whilst both in relationships on a drunken night out, we had said to each other, that if it had been another time and place and circumstances had been different we probably would of got together then.)

so taking our relationship to the next level was easy, we could cross the friend barrier easily enough without it feeling weird. so we became in my mind the ultimate FWB (friends with benefits) ! Too much information, I’m sorry but I need it to put my point across !

This is the missing ingredient, FRIENDSHIP.

After being together for thirteen years, having four children, busy lives and a stressful life, that spark can be put on the back burner, dwindling slightly waiting to be ignited again. And whilst this is happening what are you left with ?
Hopefully you like me are left with your best friend. someone to be there for you always, be a constant support with no question, has a permanent shoulder for you to cry on, will understand your mood, laugh at that in joke you’ve both been in on for years, and just sometimes be the one who leaves you alone, but is ready and waiting for you when you are ready to share your fears and your dreams.

Then when the sex does come back, and that spark is ignited once again, its as good as it’s always been as you still share that same connection that brought you together in the first place (and let’s be honest probably lasts longer too !!)
ok I’LL stop now !

Look I’m not claiming to be some sort of relationship expert, I’m just putting across what I think keeps my relationship working for so long and continue to do so. Because sometimes the sex does stop and I’m lucky to be left with my best friend to share my life with, because whats a life with out friends ?? !!! AND I’M LUCKY AS I HAVE THE ULTIMATE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS !

Sleeping habits

21 Monday May 2012

Posted by jomakessix in humour, marriage, music, personal space, relationships, sleep

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

ghosts, habbits, parenting, personal space, relationships, sleep

sleep

sleep (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Mr6 and I will be celebrating out tenth anniversary this year of wedded bliss. (Feel free to  insert a champagne pop here) Weve been together as a couple for thirteen years and feel this is a more important time to mark with a celebration, that’s three more years then married, yeah me I’m a maths genius! In that time we have lived in five homes (two of those where temporary) and brought two, one which we now live in. Got married obviously, had four children, had seven cars ! (seven eek! some where real bangers and others we out grew) Had a dog and two cats, they had to go, another tale for another day. Been on six holidays all in the U.K, Mr6 has worked his way up the career ladder, and I have remained a stay at home mum.

We like any other couple have had ( and with fear of sounding like Steve Wright) our ups and downs, some really BIG downs and challenges we all have to face being grown ups or something. So yeah a lot of changes have taken place, but one thing has stayed constant …… The side of the bed we sleep on !

It may not seem like a major thing, but after chatting to some girlfriends, it seems we all have our bed time routines and little quirks that to most are sacred and not to be messed with by the partner without risk of being banished to the sofa!

I for one LOVE to go to bed FIRST !!! A good hour first too. The bed is cold, which I adore for some reason, I think it’s a freshness thing, no one has broken wind in it ! Its peaceful, and for the first time I the day I am alone with my thoughts. The personal space is invaluable. Like tonight Mr6 is now down stairs marking papers which will take him till midnight if he’s lucky ! I can take advantage of this time, as I can’t talk to him when he’s working, unless I like waiting 6-8 minutes for a reply!

We have always slept on the same side of the bed, he sleeps nearest the door, so when the burglars, monsters come knocking they will get him first! and I love to sleep next to the window. I’m a  creature of habit, i hate having hot feet in bed, BUT ! I never leaving them poking out from the duvet, that’s the first thing ghosts and things that go bump in the night go for !!  I still sleep with my maternity pillow, having my legs rest on it is of real benefit for my condition ( Fibromyalgia) Mr6 calls it humpf or my other man ! Nine times out of ten I go to sleep to music,  to try to relax and calm my body and thoughts, and this has to be done alone in the dark, just me and the soothing vocals of my current obsession (you know who you are!)

So you see, this time is so important to me, its rituals but more importantly the personal space, being a wife and mother leaves you very few places to go.

Now of course every now and then I will Let Mr6 come to bed with me at the same time, I’m not all cold ! A girl still likes her sexy time !

Do you have any bed time sleeping habits or rituals ? would love to hear all about them.

Well that’s me done. I have a date with a smooth enchanting male vocal to lull me to sleep. Night night Jo x x x

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